What brings happiness in old age? Researchers say it could be living with your daughter

Children are generally expected to be the main source of support and care for parents in many rapidly ageing Asian societies.

But a form of gender bias still persists in this cultural phenomenon — one where sons are preferred over daughters, researchers from Monash University Malaysia’s Business School say.

They warn that this could worsen gender inequality in Asian societies. 

But on the other side of the coin, the researchers found that living with daughters is more positively associated with older people’s happiness.

Feng Yuying from Beijing agrees. 

Ms Feng is in her 60s and lives with her daughter, son-in-law and two-year-old twin grandchildren in an apartment.

“Living with my daughter is not a problem, but living with my son-in-law is not so good,” Ms Feng told the ABC. 

Ms Feng said this was due to a lack of help around home and more expenses associated with her son-in-law.

Her daughter, however, has always been at her side, supporting her whenever she needs help, she said. 

“She is of good help. She brings me water and medicine when I’m sick,” Ms Feng said.

“I never felt lonely. I rarely got separated from my daughter in the past, except when she was in college,” she said.

But sometimes, Ms Feng finds herself thinking about not living with any of them.

“So I can have some of my own space. But we can’t afford it.

“Economically, I actually feel like I’m spending more, mostly because of my grandson. I feel obligated to help them.”

Living with a daughter can be good for finances and health, say researchers

The study found that living with daughters is associated with happiness in four ways, said lead researcher Niaz Asadullah from Monash University Malaysia.

They are:

1. 1.Improved self-rated health for older females
2. 2.Reduced loneliness for both older males and females
3. 3.Reduced emotional ill-being or worry for older females, in the case of daughters with a good relationship with their parents or a university education or higher
4. 4.Improved economic conditions for older parents, where a daughter has a university education or higher

“Our analysis confirms that older females living with at least one daughter are more likely to report being in good health,” Professor Asadullah told the ABC. 

“Those living with a daughter with whom they have a good relationship also report being less worried,” he said.

“For both older men and women, compared to living alone, living with a daughter is also positively associated with good financial conditions.”

As for reduced feelings of loneliness, Professor Asadullah says what matters is co-residence with at least one child.

“This is regardless of their [the child’s] gender, and it is true both for elderly men and women,” he said.

Professor Asadullah pointed to Thailand as a key example of this. 

“Compared with China and Vietnam, Thailand offers an interesting context in which one can reinvestigate the link between old-age happiness and children’s gender,” he said.

But Professor Asadullah also said it was important to acknowledge limitations in the study, such as the willingness or the ability of a child to take care of the older parents.

Why is having a son preferred in some countries?

Professor Asadullah said research confirmed most older people in Vietnam co-reside with a married son.

Equally, in India, up to 79 per cent of older people live with sons.

“That’s compared with only 39 per cent that live with daughters,” he said. 

In China, only 4.8 per cent of fathers and 6.5 per cent of mothers choose to live with their daughters. 

Professor Asadullah said the numbers favoured sons mostly because of patriarchal traditions.

The World Health Organization (WHO) confirms this.

“Son preference is generally viewed as a socially determined bias,” the WHO says. 

In June, a United Nations report revealed bias against women was almost the same as it was a decade ago and that gender inequality was stagnant.

Co-author of the report Heriberto Tapia said the lack of improvement over time was “disappointing”.

Professor Asadullah said easy access to technology for sex-selective abortions had also reinforced pro-son bias in fertility.

In patriarchal Asia, women suffer multiple forms of economic discrimination and social exclusion throughout their life cycle, he said.

“Fewer women are at work and have their own earnings. 

“Among those fortunate to be in employment, the gender gap in pay creates a gender gap in old-age pensions.