“I want to set up a fund.” “What; like the Chief Justice Saqib Nisar Dam Fund?” “Hey get your facts right – the correct name of the fund is Chief Justice Dam Fund.”

“Ironical isn’t it – I mean a man who was on the other side of the spectrum so to speak, took a leaf from the Sharif’s playbook book in selecting a name. I mean don’t the Sharifs stick to prime minister or chief minister fund or whatever while Peoples Party is into names that are more evocative of their slain leaders or the party name, and I hear that the names selected by the Man Who Must Remain Nameless are first vetted by the Spiritual Guide and only then…”

“Sharifs don’t read books, now they do glance at a specific page off and on.”

“Don’t be facetious, anyway what kind of fund do you want to set up and why?”

“A fund to charter a plane for a world tour to those who are into free rides.”

“Ah who would that be?”

“Well the first one would be The Samdhi. We have suffered enough with his policies – losing the country 3.7 billion dollars in remittances because of his insistence to control the rupee dollar parity in the interbank market, giving tax exemptions to the rich while poverty levels are rising and increasing Benazir Income Support Programme by only 40 billion rupees to cater to those who have nothing, while raising salaries/pensions of those who have some income, and his misplaced arrogance prompting him to refuse to undertake reforms that would help the country’s economy – particularly power sector and tax reforms proposed by our local independent economists and the Fund…”

“What Fund? Is that the charter a plane fund?”

“Nope, the IMF, and focusing on geopolitics and Fund blackmail and then saying the ninth review will succeed is just totally…totally…”

“Well you have to give him credit, he has left people like you struggling for words. But I agree with you, perhaps The Samdhi needs to change his geography and go back to his family in the UK…and this time could he please take courses at the London School of Economics to familiarize himself…”

“He may not get admission.”

“Our rent a charter plane fund will also give a large donation to the LSE to educate him…”

“Don’t be facetious. Anyway The Man Who Shall, not Must, but Shall Remain Nameless needs to be put on that plane as well…”

“Why?”

“All matches that he negotiated be held in Pakistan are…are… matches that won’t attract a crowd – Pakistan versus Nepal, oh and that’s the only one our team will play on home ground, then there is Afghanistan and…”

“Ah anyone else on your charter plane?”

“The Man Without a Portfolio.”

“If wishes were horses…”

“They maybe because I hear elections may well be delayed.”

“Oh dear.”

Copyright Business Recorder, 2023