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Longtime Mentor sports supporter Pam Crysler, seated middle, passed away in mid-June. (Courtesy Mentor athletics)
Around this time every year, thoughts on our News-Herald sports staff begin to circulate not just toward spending these precious moments during the holiday season with our own family and friends, but toward capturing the most important moments of a calendar year through our high school sports year in review.
Most of those thoughts are for moments of celebration — state titles, breakthroughs, overcoming adversity and much more. But there is a sad element to it as well.
Because for me, it means contributing to our in memoriam portion of the year in review.
It means looking back on those we lost that year in our News-Herald coverage area high school sports community.
This has been an especially difficult year in that regard, with beloved staples whose impact will be felt for the duration leaving us.
It all goes back to the concepts shared in my tribute earlier this school year to revered Mentor fixture Pam Crysler.
A personal tribute to a revered constant, Mentor supporter Pam Crysler | Opinion
For so long, you grow accustomed to seeing someone or something. Then one day it’s no longer there, reminding you harshly how life and time marches on.
That loss doesn’t just stop, though, before the compilation of a list at the end of the year.
It’s not just for a remembrance post on social media.
It’s not just for a moment of silence at an event in the immediacy of the loss.
For the families of those who have passed, the loss never entirely subsides.
Amid this holiday season, there is no more appropriate time to acknowledge that truth.
When we lose a longtime coach, we stand at events quietly and peacefully as an announcement is read of their accomplishments and career impacting young lives.
Their impact, of course, goes beyond what we see on the sidelines and through a competitive avenue.
There is a significant other who supports their pursuit but also enjoys getting them back, away from sports.
There are sons and daughters who want to see their mother or father. Young ones who want a bedtime story to be read, a video game clash or chasing around the backyard.
There are dinner tables and living rooms, restaurants and social functions made whole again by the sight of such a selfless member of a household.
All of that time adds up, making the end — expected and not — that much more difficult.
We are far too guilty sometimes in life — myself included — of judging coaches, administrators, student-athletes, parents and all those who give so diligently to our high school sports community through metrics and what is seen in public.
It is easy to forget there’s a family to whom there comes a time to go home.
The coach isn’t always judged by how many titles they’ve won or how many victories they’ve accumulated.
The parent isn’t always judged by how many miles they’ve driven or how many events they’ve attended.
The student-athlete isn’t always judged by their prowess and potential to take their craft to the next level.
The administrator or event worker isn’t always judged by the efficiency with which their job is performed.
Rather, it can be about the times away from the limelight, being a family.
Going on a trip.
Carving a ham or turkey at the head of the table on a holiday.
Taking a child to a school play or college visit.
Attending a wedding or family reunion.
None of that has anything to do with high school sports — and yet, it very much does.
Because it speaks in part to the character of the people who are counted on so much for the public tasks.
When it comes time to say goodbye, there is a sense to move forward for most of us, because that’s life.
But we also must respect and remember the families who are left behind in the process.
The ones who witness first-hand a life well led and are left to contemplate it when it concludes.
We’ve lost a lot of great people over the last few years, through a pandemic and beyond.
Their loss created a void we all feel in our own way, but never quite as much as their family and closest friends.
For all those we lost in 2023 — impactful while plying their trade in our high school sports community — this holiday will be challenging. It is the first without them, after all.
Here’s to hoping get-togethers are filled with the stories of days gone by — told through laughs, tears and running the gamut of emotion.
About the time a coach drove through a snowstorm after a game to get to a recital.
About the time an administrator overcooked holiday dinner, like a scene from “A Christmas Story.”
About the time a student-athlete brightened the day of a grandparent through a handwritten card made before tipoff.
About the time a parent celebrated their child’s or team’s high school sports success at a dining or dessert establishment far away.
About all of those stories everyone would be remiss if they weren’t told one more time.
There are people behind job titles and championships, longevity and persistence.
Let us pause for a moment during this holiday season and remember not just those we lost, but those who lost the most.
Check in with families and friends. Make sure, as many times as it requires, families are navigating this first holiday after loss as best they can.
We are so grateful to have so much amid high school sports locally. Deep down, we know we take it for granted.
We agree. We disagree. We succeed. We fail. We traverse life together.
For all those who have lost loved ones affiliated with high school sports in 2023 — and in all years, obviously — please know you are treasured, noted and cared about as well.
We can’t erase your pain. But we can help ease your healing.
Feel free to lean on all of us as you do, on this and all times of the year.
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