Soggy, beige and wrapped in plastic.

Lukewarm, and appearing on your tray table at inexplicit times.

Airline food is not often the highlight of your holiday or business trip, nor is the service or drinks menu anything to write home about.

But when I flew with Etihad, for 22 hours might I add, I bored my long-suffering family with pictures and tales of my dining experience for at least the first two hours of our reunion.

After 12 months, I’m sure they were thrilled.

But Etihad’s business class dining prompts nothing less.

WHAT TO EXPECT

As opposed to getting your meals at set times, Etihad allows you full flexibility to eat whenever you want.

Not wanting to cause a fuss, I dutifully replied ‘oh, really? Whenever is good for you!’ when asked what time I preferred to have my three-course meal.

But the passenger across from me soon showed me how it was done – ordering his snacks, three-course meal and subsequent choices from the all-day dining menu with the precision of a military leader.

Snacks after take-off, meal promptly within the first hour, dessert immediately after that – ahead of a four hour sleep.

He then wished to be woken up with a fresh fruit plate, followed by a chicken schnitzel sandwich as a mid-flight snack.

The menu is split up into two sections – the A La Carte, and the All Day. 

Staff ask you to select one item from each course of the All Day, with or without cheeseboard.

You can always save a dessert order for later in case you’re too full to continue the eating marathon (note: you probably will be).

This A La Carte menu is served to all business class passengers once during your flight, while the All Day dining is available time and time again.

WHAT COMES FIRST?

When you board, the staff greet you warmly as you get settled in your seat and offer you a glass of champagne, juice and/or water.

Before take-off, a dedicated host will come over and take your order for the flight, including preferred timings, as well as your choice of post take-off snack and drink.

I opted for a champagne to start, a refreshing but deeply rich glass of Devaux Grand Reserve Brut NV, naturally from France.

WHAT ARE THE OPTIONS?

Etihad beautifully pair western favourites and comfort food with traditional Emirati fare, as well as a selection of lighter dishes for those trying to retain some semblance of health on their trip.

The extensive All Day menu includes everything from steak sandwiches, to bircher muesli, omelette, chicken schnitzel sandwiches and French toast.

Potato crisps, basked cookies, madeleines and Arabic baklava are also available around the clock, as are lightly warmed nuts.

SERVICE 

The service only adds to the experience with Etihad. Staff are warm, friendly and incredibly prompt with your order.

Each dish, whether a bowl of nuts or your main course, is served on a fresh white tablecloth, with warm crockery and a clean napkin each time.

The plates and cutlery are designed by Armani, offering a contemporary but homely aesthetic that hovers between feeling restaurant-like, and as if you’re in your own home.

THE DRINKS

The drinks menu is two-sided and includes both hot, cold, alcoholic and non-alcoholic options.

For those keen for a tipple, they can choose from a Bellini, Champagne, one of three white or red wine options, a fortified wine or a port. This is as well as the spirits and aperitifs, beers and liqueurs.

The Australian fortified wine, De Bortoli’s ‘Noble One’ was the stand-out on my flight, both full of citrus zest but with a smooth, vanilla finish, it was the perfect compliment to a cheese board and – in particular – the apple cake with a delicious cinnamon crème Anglaise.

The Chateau Puy-Blanquet Saint-Emillon Grand Cru, a 2014 French wine, is a rich, blackberry-infused red which was a great treat to wind down for a good night’s rest.

The coffee was also impressively complex given the tiny area staff have to prepare it in, offering the perfect pick-me-up right before landing. 

The cookies it came with, because why not, were fluffy and crisp in all the right places.

For those wanting something lighter, the mint tea – served with fresh mint leaves and a square of dark chocolate – was a welcome comfort throughout the flight.

THE FOOD 

 It’s just the best bit.

After settling in and being presented with a bowl of warm nuts just after take off, I quickly became peckish for what was to come.

The soup offering, Moroccan vegetable on one flight and a genuinely delightful vegan laksa on the other, is served with fresh bread, butter, a side salad and olive oil, balsamic vinegar and sea salt flakes to taste.

For mains, on the first leg I chose the gnocchi – which was garnished with a juicy olive butter sauce, as well as cherry tomatoes, wedges of pumpkin, fried sage leaves and a coating of fresh Parmesan.

On the second leg, I had the Thai green vegetable curry – which, served with steamed jasmine rice, felt more at home in my favourite up-market Thai restaurant than on a plane. 

It was delicious, and packed with fresh vegetables to make my endless 22 hours of eating feel slightly on the healthier side.

The cheese board is also something to tell the family about, featuring a very generous chunk of mature cheddar, a wedge of creamy brie and a potent – but not too smelly – stilton, as well as fruit-filled crackers and a delicious quince paste. 

Fresh salads were also a welcome addition, mine packed with beetroot, walnut, rocket and feta. 

The desserts were decadent, the stand-out being the warm treacle pudding with caramel sauce, orange compote and a crunchy nut granola.

Just the right balance of sweetness, decadence and fluffy pudding – it would not be out of a place in a fine-dining restaurant renowned for its desserts. 

The breakfasts, served right before landing on my Abu-Dhabi to London flight, was a hearty offering of a cheese omelette with potato rosti, spinach and tomato.

The fruit salad on the side was much appreciated, with a barista-made coffee helping to wash it all down and start the day off right. 

VERDICT 

Etihad’s business class dining offering will not disappoint even the toughest critic or pickiest of eaters.

The menu is designed with choice in mind, and though a few more strictly healthy options would be welcome, I doubt there are many that want to only eat lettuce for a 22 hour flight.

It lifts the airline’s business class to a different level, leaving me feeling like I’d enjoyed a true dining experience – as opposed to just being fed while I flew from point A to B. 

If you try it, make sure you board with an empty stomach.