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ASHDOD, Israel — The family of two American hostages released by Hamas last week described in an interview with NBC News on Monday their struggle to grapple with feelings of relief for the freed mother and daughter — and fear for those still held captive by the militant group, including eight of their loved ones.
“It was everything all at once — joy, then guilt for feeling joy for just a second,” said Ayelet Sella, a cousin of Judith Raanan, who, along with her daughter, Natalie, was freed on Friday in the first diplomatic breakthrough on the issue since militants swept through southern Israel in a surprise attack on Oct. 7.
“They were just innocent, innocent civilians who were taken from their homes inside Israel’s borders,” she added.
“We don’t have the privilege to celebrate,” said Or Sella, Ayelet’s brother.
While they were relieved to see Judith and Natalie freed, Ayelet, 42, and Or Sella, 34, said they are still grieving the loss of other relatives killed in Hamas’ attack — and they still have several family members still being held captive, with the youngest being just 3 years old. Some are also U.S.-Israeli dual citizens.
“We don’t have the privilege to even mourn our murdered family members yet because each and every day we wake up and 24 hours a day we’re just doing everything we can to get everyone back,” Or Sella said. He said the family has hardly slept since the attack and eats “without appetite, just because we need to eat something.”
“We are 100% focused on doing everything we can to just get everyone back. Our family and 200 more families,” he said.
Judith and Natalie, who are both related to former Israel-based NBC correspondent Martin Fletcher, were taken captive from Nahal Oz, one of several kibbutzim near the Gaza border that were hit hard in Hamas’ attack.
The mother and daughter were met at the Gaza border by Israeli Brig. Gen. Gal Hirsch after their release on Friday and taken to a military base where they were reunited with their loved ones.
Follow live updates from NBC News here.
Ayelet Sella said said she felt like she could breathe for the first time since Oct. 7 when she took Judith and Natalie into her arms. And, she said: “I can tell you that night was the first night that I had a dream since two weeks ago because it’s the first time that I’ve got some sleep.”
Still, she said, her family is in a “nonstop constant battle” to see their loved ones and the dozens of other people still held hostage safely returned.
Judith and Natalie’s release brought a “huge sigh of relief,” Fletcher said after they were released. But he said the family was still concerned as there were “still so many hostages.”
They were among more than 220 people that Israeli officials have said were taken by Hamas, including U.S.-Israeli dual citizens and other foreign nationals. Dozens of others are still missing, but have not been confirmed to be among those taken captive. At least 1,400 people have died in Israel in the current conflict, while at least 4,651 have died in Gaza.
Noting that her grandmother was a Holocaust survivor, Ayelet Sella said the current conflict feels like “something that happens somewhere in history.”
“Now we live it and it’s unimaginable. I don’t think that any one of us can even comprehend what we are going through right now,” she said.
Ayelet Sella said she felt the Israeli government was “not prioritizing the hostages,” adding: “It should be the only thing on the table at the moment.”
On Monday, Daniel Hagari, a spokesman for the Israel Defense Forces, said the IDF had provided updates to to the families of at least 222 abductees held by Hamas in Gaza.
He said armored and infantry forces were continuing limited raids inside Gaza in a bid to track down information about those held hostage and others who are missing.
Until they are found, Ayelet and Or Sella said they would not rest. But Or Sella said the family is still “hopeful.”
“We all agreed as a family, they are alive, they are well,” he said. “They will come back.”
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