Last month, we brought you the 2024 predictions from the legendary soothsayer Baba Vanga… And the outlook wasn’t so rosy: EU terrorist attacks, a huge economic crisis and plenty of weather troubles.

Now, the predictions for next year from the infamous French 16th century doomsday prophet Nostradamus have been revealed. 

And it’s all good, everything’s fine, and prepare for more rainbows.

Oh wait, we misread. 

It’s the opposite. 

Sorry everyone. False hope – seatbelts on, we’re still heading towards turbulence. 

According to Nostradamus’ 1555 text “Les Propheties” (“The Prophecies”), 2024 brings continued global strife, royal turmoil and humanitarian disaster.

While his writings are vague, bear in mind that he has been credited with foreseeing the rise of Adolf Hitler, the Sept. 11 attacks and COVID, to name a few.

Before we give you the lowdown on 2024, it’s also worth bearing in mind that interpretation of Nostradamus predictions is controversial and definitely more conjecture than literal. He’s been wrong before (the world was supposed to end in 1999), and he did predict the coming of the antichrist in 2023.

Granted, we’ve still got a few just over half a month to go, and crashing the party during the holidays sounds like something the Prince of Darkness would do. Still, the year has been challenging enough as it is… Maybe Old Nick can wait until next year, like a gent.

Here’s the lowdown for 2024 in four main prophecies:

War with China

Nostradamus predicted “combat and naval battle”, and said that a “Red adversary will become pale with fear / Putting the great Ocean in dread.”

Some think that the “Red adversary” could be referring to China.

Sounds depressingly action-packed. Thanks Michel de Nostredame!

Prince Harry becomes King

One of the passages in “The Prophecies” says that a “King of the Isles” will be “driven out by force.” 

Some believe that Nostradamus was referring to King Charles III, and if we’re to take his word for it, the relatively new monarch’s already on the chopping block.

What’s more, Nostradamus said this ruler would be usurped by “one who will have no mark of a king”.

Considering Prince William is the current heir, that would mean Prince Harry the UK’s future king. Brace yourselves. The Spare is coming. 

Further climate disaster

“The dry earth will grow more parched / And there will be great floods when it is seen,” wrote Nostradamus.

He also predicted extreme weather events and world hunger: “Very great famine through pestiferous wave,” to be precise.

Cheery. 

A new Pope

Pope Francis could soon be replaced, according to the astrologer’s predictions.

“Through the death of a very old Pontiff / A Roman of good age will be elected / Of him it will be said that he weakens his see / But long will he sit and in biting activity,” he wrote.

Pope Francis, who turns 87 on Sunday, has been having health issues, and recently had to skip the U.N. climate conference because of lung inflammation and breathing problems.

Oh dear. 

Well, we hope that’s cheered you up, and fingers crossed that the doomsday soothsayer just never got enough hugs as a nipper, and that 2024 might at least spare us the war with China. 

We don’t know about you, but the others feel depressingly plausible somehow.